I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
