I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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