She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
