Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Bring me that man meat
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
