She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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