I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
