wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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