what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
