All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
