i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
