I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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