these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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