He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
