This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
