wakey wakey hands off snakey
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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