She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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