on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
