well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
