She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
