don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
