dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
