he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
