Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
NoShamevember. You game?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
