is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Randomize
