So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
