thus making me awesome and them whores
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
