I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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