My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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