SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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