youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
