the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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