We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
