Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
