I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
