Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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