after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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