I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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