Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
