I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
