i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
