Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize