So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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