He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
