My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
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FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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