remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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