it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The adults are the big ones right?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
