Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize