I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
