New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
