another moral hangover. fuck.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
