just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
