these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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