So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
