question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
