I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
