hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We won't sleep together?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
