WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
