My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
