we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
