So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize