i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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