i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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