i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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