honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
