I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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