its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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