When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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