'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
