I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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