I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
