Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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