if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
