dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
