very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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