shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Sorry about my life...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
