You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
